My boys watch everything that I do. They hear everything that I say. I am conscious about making sure that I am on top of my thoughts, actions, words, and movements. I am a father to four teenage boys. One bio, two adopted, and one guardianship. My four sponges absorb everything that I put out. I must display a positive image.
All but three of my boys have had a mother figure that has failed them. Bio-mom may have abused and neglected them. Previous foster moms may have abused and neglected them. Two of my boys have had at least eight mother figures that they have been failed by in their eyes. My wife is their ninth and final mom.
All of this to say, that in displaying a positive image, my actions must be pure. The way that I treat my wife is one of the most important things that I have to be aware of. My boys have been conditioned to see women/moms in a negative light. They gravitate toward me, in the beginning, because most men haven’t failed them, but women have. I must be diligent in treating my wife with the utmost respect. My sons need to hear me tell my wife “I love you” constantly. They need to see that I will always put her first. They need to see me be affectionate with her. They need to see me put her on a pedestal because that is where she belongs. I can’t control what their eyes have seen. However, I can be sure that their eyes see a positive image on how a woman is supposed to be treated. In doing so, I am not only teaching them how to be respectable sons to their mom, I am also teaching them how to be respectable young men to all women. They are being shown how to respect, a mom, a sister, a girlfriend, and hopefully one day, a wife. My boys are watching. As a dad, my actions are the most important things that they will ever see.