BEYOND BLESSED to have these two amazing beautiful people in life. No they are not my biological Mother and Father but they are my parents. I appreciate everything they ever done for me. They’ll go to war for me with whomever and for that I am grateful. They attend every sporting event and be the loudest ones every time 😂. From the hundreds of drills to learning how to drive to traveling everywhere, they have supported me through it all. I love you Mom and Dad!
These words that were expressed by my son were probably one of the most validating moments I’ve had; not only as a foster parent but a parent in general.
In a perfect world, parents thrive to teach our children to be candid, honest, and selfless. Now, candid I can do. Honesty…well, that’s a work in progress. However, selflessness is a struggle. As foster parents, if we are not selfless then we’d get eaten alive (and we should really check our motives). But, then again, it is human nature to want to be appreciated for a job well done and, well, I have contributed to quite a few “jobs-well-done.
Being that my son’s post was on social media, I saw some of his biological family chime in on it. Saying things like
“I love you.”
“Good job. Way to go after it like I taught you.”
“I’m proud of you. When are you coming to visit?”
With my son’s growing success in athletics, academics, and employment, he has become quite popular and, with popularity, people usually want to put their hands in the pot of his progress; as if they had a hand in his recent ‘model citizen sculpture molding.’
It is hard for me not to scream from the rooftop:
“I provided that stability! I dried his tears!”
“I helped him with his homework!”
“I helped him with his resume so he could land that summer job! I DID THAT!”
When these thoughts start to rack my brain, I must remember this:God didn’t put me in his life so that I can take the credit for his accolades and success. But that reminder and demand for selflessness is why my son’s testimony was so meaningful. That public display of affection is an indescribable warm and fuzzy feeling that makes it all worth it. His words of affirmation are the shiny trophy that I can put on my mental mantle in my attempt to take the high road and remain selfless.
I will continue with molding my son. My goal is to make him feel safe and secure in my home while help him navigate his feelings and relationships with his biological family.